Tina Fey? Don't you mean Tina Sexy?

After watching about 10 straight episodes of 30 Rock, I've happily realized my longtime crush on Tina Fey hasn't wavered one iota. Some of you will be asking "But doesn't he have a girlfriend? Should he really be writing about his lust for a celebrity?" Here's why my infatuation with Fey is okay:

1. Tina is a sassy, sexy brunette who wears glasses. My girlfriend is a sassy, sexy brunette who wears glasses. Tina falls into a category of women I've always found attractive. My attraction to Tina Fey shows a consistency that should reaffirm to my girlfriend that I am in fact very attracted to her.

2. Tina is 38, more than ten years older than me. Yet I still find her, how do the French say it ... smokin' hot. So my girlfriend doesn't need to have the common female fear of "getting too old" because clearly, when my girlfriend is older, I will have no issue with wanting to get in her pants.

3. Tina has a facial scar and, rather than turning me off, it actually increases her hotness exponentially. So my girlfriend doesn't need to worry all day about getting into an accident and ending up with a sexy facial scar, because if that happened, I would probably want to bang her even more than I do now.

4. Tina's name starts with a T. My girlfriend's name starts with a T. Bonus!